After Grubbs’ note about what women and men want, and after a long pondering of life, and relationships and the price of eggs in China I have come up with this thought:
90% of all of our relationship confusion, whether romantic or familial or professional, is a matter of unmet expectations. Either others do not meet our expectations, or we fail to meet the expectations of others. Professionally we can fail to ask the right questions about others’ expectations. Maybe we didn’t know what questions to ask? Perhaps we simply were too passive, tired or lazy to find out. Often we do not take the time to tell others what we expect of them, and when they fail to live up to the standard we have mentally but silently assigned we find our work experience to be frustrating and dissatisfying.
Undoubtedly, family can start, reinforce or structure our communication on both sides of an expectation. On occasions I have experienced expectations that were impossible for me to attain. I have often assumed expectations that did not exist. I have also had expectations of others that were not communicated or otherwise unrealistic. Sadly, unmet expectations have lead to arguments, hurtful words, alienation and emotional scarring.
By our late 20’s and 30’s we have grown accustomed to the pains of unmet expectations, particularly from those with whom we are most familiar. Most of us have been working over a decade. We have had horribly embarrassing situations where we did not meet the expectations of our employers. We are still working. We have learned to cope (healthily or not) with our families, our supervisors and our peers. We tend to nurture friendships that meet our expectations. We tend to avoid people whose expectations we do not meet.
New romantic relationships are the trump card. Even the possibility of new romantic relationships makes everything blurry. When you meet someone for the first time you have no idea what expectations they have of you, and you are just forming your expectations of them. Often you don’t even know you have expectations until you realize that your expectations are not being met. Because of the emotional power of romantic relationships and because of the emphasis society puts on sex (which seems to be a chicken/egg scenario), even the possibility of expectations being unmet seems to paralyze and dominate our actions. The simple word for this fear is rejection.
How do we change this discouraging scenario? How do we minimize misunderstanding and promote confidence and security in our relationships? How do we become satisfied employees and caring relatives? My answer: communicate expectations clearly! This is not simple. This will not happen by just thinking happy, cherry-pink, fluffy thoughts. Intention and practice will have to be applied consistently and honestly; an extra portion of kindness will have to be incorporated as well. But consider, once an expectation is clearly stated the listener has clear options.
The first is to unreservedly try to meet the expectation. For example, a friend calls after a horrible day at work. She states clearly at the beginning of the conversation that she just needs to vent. At that point I understand that my role is to listen not to criticize, repair or reconstruct the situation. I can decide at that moment to suspend all other emotional reactions and focus on receiving the information without considering what my next sentence needs to be. Alternately, when expectations are clearly stated from the beginning we have the opportunity to express our inability to meet those expectations or perhaps our lack of desire to fulfill them. If a telemarketer calls my house and tells me as soon as I get on the phone that they are trying to raise money for XYZ organization I know immediately whether I want to continue the dialogue. I usually try to courteously disengage. Sometimes we need to be able to do that with our relationships.
There are limitless examples of the complications of unclear expectations between the sexes. A man buys a woman a drink. She feels attractive. He feels empowered. She feels adored. He is thinking sex. She is thinking relationship. This is a hyperbole but makes the point. Among Christian singles a parallel situation exists. A guy is hanging out with a girl. He is thinking, “she is keeping me entertained until the real thing comes along” and she is thinking, “finally, this guy might be ‘the One’.” How can such a situation end anyway but badly?
So, here is my suggestion – practice stating (with kindness and humility) your expectations whenever possible. State clearly how the other person can meet your expectations or state what your expectations of yourself are in a way that allows other people to protect themselves’. Instead of passively-aggressively hinting at what you want, tell the other person. For example, “I hope I am not alone on my birthday” is less clear than, “Would you have dinner with me on my birthday.”
To all the men: please do not ask what a girl is doing tomorrow/next Friday/this weekend if you are just trying to waste conversational space. She interprets this as “he is interested because he wants to spend time with me.” When she tells you and you say, “That sounds like fun. I am going to the movies with my girlfriend” you have just rejected her by raising her expectations and then not following though. Strange, I know, but true. And that begs the question why you asked her such a thing in the first place. Why does it matter what she is doing with her time if you are not interested in spending more time with her? Think about your expectations before you raise hers.
Conversely, girls, don’t flirt just to have your egos stroked and then make up nonsensical excuses when he asks to see you again. You have created an expectation that you are incapable of following through on. This is not kind; it is manipulative and leads to passivity. If you are interested in him, and he asks you out then respond with graciousness. If you are not interested then say something considerate and edifying, but don’t lead him on.
Wives, clarify for your husbands what you expect out of the 32-minute detailed narrative that meets them when they walk in the door of the house after they have worked all day. Do you need help? Do you just need him to listen? What is his role and how can he fulfill it. When he has satisfied your expectation, thank him! Don’t expect him to read your mind – he cannot.
Men, don’t expect your girl friends (romantic or platonic) to know you appreciate them. They won’t know unless you tell them. Friends, be kind and sensitive to one another. Treat another person the way you want to be treated. Don’t expect more from them than you are willing to do yourself, and don’t expect less than what you want others to expect from you.
Basic, I know, but how much easier was it as kindergarteners at the park when you ran up to a new person and said, “do you wanna be my friend?” Or when you went to your mom and held out your arms for her to hug you. Expectations were clear then. And you responded without reservation because you hadn’t yet learned rejection. You were just beginning to feel the effects of unmet expectations. As adults we bear the full burden of all of our failures so let us try to reduce the confusion they cause. The more clearly you express expectation the less rejection you will give and receive, and less rejection would do us all a world of good.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
For Real Now
The email of my itinerary came in last night about 11.30pm EST. (That is Monday afternoon in Korea.) So, now I have my flight itinerary, my visa (in my passport), a real winter coat and a mound of paperwork here for cpcc to get through by this Friday. BUT, it all looks legit and is a done deal. Wow.
My flight going out looks like it will be a bit of a headache. Charlotte to Memphis to Seattle to Seoul. Coming back it is Seoul to Narita to Minneapolis to Charlotte. BUT the good thing is that all of my layovers look shortish (1-2 hours). So, as long as there is no snow to back up the airports, it should be fine.
I fly out Dec 22 and come back Jan 23 - so a month, exactly.
I leave at 7 am Dec 22nd from Charlotte and get into Seoul at 9:10 PM Dec. 23rd! What is WHACK is that I leave Seoul at 11:05 Jan 23rd and get to Minneapolis at 11:05 the same day. (but will be flying 13 hours in between!) I am scheduled to arrive in Charlotte at 4:51 PM but will have been traveling for around 19 hours. Time Zones are amazing.
Anyway, I am sure you will see and hear much more over the following 2 months of my exciting travels. :-) I leave in 21 days. 3 weeks from today!!!!!!!!!!!!
My flight going out looks like it will be a bit of a headache. Charlotte to Memphis to Seattle to Seoul. Coming back it is Seoul to Narita to Minneapolis to Charlotte. BUT the good thing is that all of my layovers look shortish (1-2 hours). So, as long as there is no snow to back up the airports, it should be fine.
I fly out Dec 22 and come back Jan 23 - so a month, exactly.
I leave at 7 am Dec 22nd from Charlotte and get into Seoul at 9:10 PM Dec. 23rd! What is WHACK is that I leave Seoul at 11:05 Jan 23rd and get to Minneapolis at 11:05 the same day. (but will be flying 13 hours in between!) I am scheduled to arrive in Charlotte at 4:51 PM but will have been traveling for around 19 hours. Time Zones are amazing.
Anyway, I am sure you will see and hear much more over the following 2 months of my exciting travels. :-) I leave in 21 days. 3 weeks from today!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Posting MP3's
I have a little mp3 player that records audio (my voice for example.) I am very excited about this since it will allow me to dictate thoughts, descriptions, etc. at times when it might not be convenient to write them out. (This happens alot when I am driving or traveling). If I can figure out a way to post them, then I can 'talk' along with the pictures I post, or create powerpoints (with audio narration) to accompany my experiences in Korea. We'll see if I can make it work. :-)
Monday, November 17, 2008
selfishness v. self-awareness v. self protection
The message this past Sunday at Warehouse was about Envy. (We are going through the 7 deadly sins.) The simple definition was that envy seeks pain or negativity in the positive experiences or situations of others. Wanting what someone else has and then wishing them ill because they have it (and not us.) It was an appropriate message since so much of American society seems to be based around comparing ourselves to our neighbors. Often the "american dream" becomes 'keeping up with the Jonses".
Obviously wanting what someone else has and being resentful when we don't have what we want is not healthy or godly. But at what point do you recognize your weaknesses and try to keep yourself from walking down the path that you know tempts your selfishness? I ask because as I talk with more and more women (married, single, mothers, or women without children. Well off (or at least comfortable) or desperately trying to make ends meet - we all can find outselves disappointed with our situation and envious of someone else's situation.
Some sins seem easy to avoid or combat. If lust is something you struggle with, you are advised to stay away from provocative movies, books, situations, etc. If sloth is your vice you find ways to encourage motivation. If gluttony is your worry (whether in the traditional sense of food, or with any excess) you learn to avoid those situations in which you are most likely to indulge that temptation. But envy....how do you avoid envy without avoiding the people that you are guilty of envying? Certainly all any of us have to do is walk through the door of a church to be confronted with a situation that could provoke in us dissatisfaction. (Men can struggle with this too, I think. Perhaps someone has a better job, drives a nicer car or has a thinner wife. *shrug* One can hardly stop seeing those people.)
Obviously the solution runs deeper than avoidance. And certainly focusing on truth, practicing trust, reiterating blessings, taking moments throughout our day to be thankful can help. But, my friends, emotions are so intractable. You can reprimand, you can chastise, you can heap guilt and you can feign ignorance, but changing the emotional response (especially to issues that have slowly over time worn away at your confidence in God) seems impossible. For us, from our own power it certainly is impossible.
One suggestion made for combatting envy is service. Instead of focussing on what we wish we had, but do not, we should focus on giving what we have to others. Perhaps for the person who struggles with materialism, they practice giving away their money or limiting their possessions. Or maybe a person who struggles with insecurity about their physical appearance goes and spends time at a battered women's shelter helping to make clothes or fix their hair to encourage self confidence in others. Maybe single women focus on serving in the nursery or as a big sister in a community center. Maybe through these ways we are reoriented to receive the goodness God has brought into our lives instead of focusing on the things we do not have that we desire.
But let me bring to light the sticking point. What if the things we desire are GOOD things? What if they are things that are pleasing to God. For a single woman, perhaps that is marriage. For a childless wife, perhaps that is a chance to raise a godly family. For the struggling marriage, perhaps that is a desire for a closer intimacy. Even career wise - perhaps you are looking for a job that allows you to give back to the community, like a non-profit position, or an opportunity to teach. What if these godly desires are the things you crave and still have no received. How do you mark the line between self-awareness (and affirmation of the validity of such desires) and selfishness or envy?
Going even a step further, once you have determined that having your desires met has become a priority and usurped your focus on God, how do you fight against them? What if your desire for acknowledgement has led to anorexia, do you place yourself amongst models to combat your envy? If you desire children, do you spend all your time at babyshowers for others? If you desire marriage, do you become everyone's favorite bride's maid? If you want a healthier marriage, do you spend all your time with couples you preceive to have a perfect intimacy? Obviously sometimes the answer is yes. For some of us, sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do. Walk with the wise and grow wise. Serve and learn humility. Sacrifice and learn appreciation. But sometimes there needs to be a healthy boundary that says to the lust-er to avoid provocation. To the materialistic - avoid the mall. Does it say to the lonely to avoid community? To the single to avoid weddings? Where is the line between selfishness and self-protection? Where is the godly answer in guarding our hearts and avoiding the hope deferred? At what point do you have to recognize that being selfless requires a certain amount of selfishness?
Obviously wanting what someone else has and being resentful when we don't have what we want is not healthy or godly. But at what point do you recognize your weaknesses and try to keep yourself from walking down the path that you know tempts your selfishness? I ask because as I talk with more and more women (married, single, mothers, or women without children. Well off (or at least comfortable) or desperately trying to make ends meet - we all can find outselves disappointed with our situation and envious of someone else's situation.
Some sins seem easy to avoid or combat. If lust is something you struggle with, you are advised to stay away from provocative movies, books, situations, etc. If sloth is your vice you find ways to encourage motivation. If gluttony is your worry (whether in the traditional sense of food, or with any excess) you learn to avoid those situations in which you are most likely to indulge that temptation. But envy....how do you avoid envy without avoiding the people that you are guilty of envying? Certainly all any of us have to do is walk through the door of a church to be confronted with a situation that could provoke in us dissatisfaction. (Men can struggle with this too, I think. Perhaps someone has a better job, drives a nicer car or has a thinner wife. *shrug* One can hardly stop seeing those people.)
Obviously the solution runs deeper than avoidance. And certainly focusing on truth, practicing trust, reiterating blessings, taking moments throughout our day to be thankful can help. But, my friends, emotions are so intractable. You can reprimand, you can chastise, you can heap guilt and you can feign ignorance, but changing the emotional response (especially to issues that have slowly over time worn away at your confidence in God) seems impossible. For us, from our own power it certainly is impossible.
One suggestion made for combatting envy is service. Instead of focussing on what we wish we had, but do not, we should focus on giving what we have to others. Perhaps for the person who struggles with materialism, they practice giving away their money or limiting their possessions. Or maybe a person who struggles with insecurity about their physical appearance goes and spends time at a battered women's shelter helping to make clothes or fix their hair to encourage self confidence in others. Maybe single women focus on serving in the nursery or as a big sister in a community center. Maybe through these ways we are reoriented to receive the goodness God has brought into our lives instead of focusing on the things we do not have that we desire.
But let me bring to light the sticking point. What if the things we desire are GOOD things? What if they are things that are pleasing to God. For a single woman, perhaps that is marriage. For a childless wife, perhaps that is a chance to raise a godly family. For the struggling marriage, perhaps that is a desire for a closer intimacy. Even career wise - perhaps you are looking for a job that allows you to give back to the community, like a non-profit position, or an opportunity to teach. What if these godly desires are the things you crave and still have no received. How do you mark the line between self-awareness (and affirmation of the validity of such desires) and selfishness or envy?
Going even a step further, once you have determined that having your desires met has become a priority and usurped your focus on God, how do you fight against them? What if your desire for acknowledgement has led to anorexia, do you place yourself amongst models to combat your envy? If you desire children, do you spend all your time at babyshowers for others? If you desire marriage, do you become everyone's favorite bride's maid? If you want a healthier marriage, do you spend all your time with couples you preceive to have a perfect intimacy? Obviously sometimes the answer is yes. For some of us, sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do. Walk with the wise and grow wise. Serve and learn humility. Sacrifice and learn appreciation. But sometimes there needs to be a healthy boundary that says to the lust-er to avoid provocation. To the materialistic - avoid the mall. Does it say to the lonely to avoid community? To the single to avoid weddings? Where is the line between selfishness and self-protection? Where is the godly answer in guarding our hearts and avoiding the hope deferred? At what point do you have to recognize that being selfless requires a certain amount of selfishness?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A mishmash of mentally motivating moments
I have but a few minutes before the desperate need for sleep replaces regular cognition. So, I am spitting them out here like too hot soup:
I happened upon a blog that I think I might start reading with some regularity.
Sprit21 are writings by a muslim woman living in the U.K. who reflects upon different aspects of her faith much as Christians reflect on their own. I have only scratched the surface of her blogging, but I feel it might have some significant contributions to make in my daily considerings of this quickly spinning globe that is hurling through space with such accuracy the stars quiver with joy.
Ok, second random thought:
If you find Boxer Rebellion under Wikipedia and scroll down toward the bottom, on the right hand you will find THIS picture.
I am not sure why the picture struck me so strongly, but I have a few good guesses and here they are: Did you see how the father had submitted himself to take on the traditional chinese appreance? This makes me think he was genuine about relating to the Chinese as equals (instead of trying to westernize them). It was the middle daughter, not he eldest that was killed (I believe) when her parents were murdered during the Boxer Rebellion. Now, I have no idea what they were missionaries of, who sent them, or why they died (outside of the obvious) but when I studied that picture, the un-knowness of their story made my heart cry out. I want to know these people and why they did what they did and why they died for what they did.
I happened upon a blog that I think I might start reading with some regularity.
Sprit21 are writings by a muslim woman living in the U.K. who reflects upon different aspects of her faith much as Christians reflect on their own. I have only scratched the surface of her blogging, but I feel it might have some significant contributions to make in my daily considerings of this quickly spinning globe that is hurling through space with such accuracy the stars quiver with joy.
Ok, second random thought:
If you find Boxer Rebellion under Wikipedia and scroll down toward the bottom, on the right hand you will find THIS picture.
I am not sure why the picture struck me so strongly, but I have a few good guesses and here they are: Did you see how the father had submitted himself to take on the traditional chinese appreance? This makes me think he was genuine about relating to the Chinese as equals (instead of trying to westernize them). It was the middle daughter, not he eldest that was killed (I believe) when her parents were murdered during the Boxer Rebellion. Now, I have no idea what they were missionaries of, who sent them, or why they died (outside of the obvious) but when I studied that picture, the un-knowness of their story made my heart cry out. I want to know these people and why they did what they did and why they died for what they did.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Deut. 4:15-30
Part One - Idolatry Forbidden
Idolatry seems such a silly idea to most, we the intellectually enlightened who grasp that an infinite being certainly could not be contained in a block of wood or a pile of stone. How do we translate ancient scriptures about idolatry into our modern (or post modern)existence?
There are two things that stand out to me initially after a quick read of the text:
First, God was careful not to mislead the Israelites. Second, He promises hope even when they fail.
In verses 15 & 16 Moses reminds the wanderers that God did not reveal Himself to them at Mt. Horeb in a particular guise. Rather, he chose something without form or substance. Smoke and fire are what are referred to with the ascension of God to Mt. Sinai. (Ex. 19:18) And, as I think through the Old Testament, rare were the times that God took on any specific form as His representation. As I think, the one exception that appears clearly to me was the creation of the bronze serpent (there appears to be some arguement whether Nehushtan or the rod of Asclepius is the original symbol for medicine, btw, though I personally feel the legend of Asclepius' rod is because Nehushtan was already recognized as a healing symbol) Numbers 21. Interestingly, Hezekiah destroys the snake ( 2 kings 18:4) because the Israelites had been burning incess to it. The point is that God, through Moses, reminds the Israelites that He is not bound to a form nor has He chosen to represent Himself regularly through one form (the exception perhaps being a lamb.)
Furthermore, they are to watch themselves carefully that they do not slip into the habit of worshiping things instead of the creator. And Moses gets specific: not man, not animal, not bird and not even a heavenly body (perhaps specified because of the Egyptians religious preferences for the sun and moon, etc. especially since Moses then says "those [things] which the Lord your God has allotted to all the peoples under the whole heaven" as though to remind them of others who worship the sun and stars as though they alone had ownership of their existence.
v. 20 - a direct reference to Israel's removal from Egypt; calling Egypt the iron furnace. (My NASB cross references this with 1 Ki 8:51 & Jer. 11:4)Why was Egypt referred to as an iron or iron-smelting furnace? (an interesting article here) I guess it is the idea of the 'refiner's fire' coming into play again.(Also interesting is that the article places iron smelting in the 8th century B.C. but Moses might have lived in the 1600's B.C. and it is likely that Thothmes I could have brought iron-smelting from Asia...but I digress...)
v 21-22 seems to be Moses revisiting AGAIN his frustration (maybe even anger) at the Israelites over him not being allowed into the promise land. Having thought through this before I will continue on.)
V 23 - a reiteration of warning.
Idolatry seems such a silly idea to most, we the intellectually enlightened who grasp that an infinite being certainly could not be contained in a block of wood or a pile of stone. How do we translate ancient scriptures about idolatry into our modern (or post modern)existence?
There are two things that stand out to me initially after a quick read of the text:
First, God was careful not to mislead the Israelites. Second, He promises hope even when they fail.
In verses 15 & 16 Moses reminds the wanderers that God did not reveal Himself to them at Mt. Horeb in a particular guise. Rather, he chose something without form or substance. Smoke and fire are what are referred to with the ascension of God to Mt. Sinai. (Ex. 19:18) And, as I think through the Old Testament, rare were the times that God took on any specific form as His representation. As I think, the one exception that appears clearly to me was the creation of the bronze serpent (there appears to be some arguement whether Nehushtan or the rod of Asclepius is the original symbol for medicine, btw, though I personally feel the legend of Asclepius' rod is because Nehushtan was already recognized as a healing symbol) Numbers 21. Interestingly, Hezekiah destroys the snake ( 2 kings 18:4) because the Israelites had been burning incess to it. The point is that God, through Moses, reminds the Israelites that He is not bound to a form nor has He chosen to represent Himself regularly through one form (the exception perhaps being a lamb.)
Furthermore, they are to watch themselves carefully that they do not slip into the habit of worshiping things instead of the creator. And Moses gets specific: not man, not animal, not bird and not even a heavenly body (perhaps specified because of the Egyptians religious preferences for the sun and moon, etc. especially since Moses then says "those [things] which the Lord your God has allotted to all the peoples under the whole heaven" as though to remind them of others who worship the sun and stars as though they alone had ownership of their existence.
v. 20 - a direct reference to Israel's removal from Egypt; calling Egypt the iron furnace. (My NASB cross references this with 1 Ki 8:51 & Jer. 11:4)Why was Egypt referred to as an iron or iron-smelting furnace? (an interesting article here) I guess it is the idea of the 'refiner's fire' coming into play again.(Also interesting is that the article places iron smelting in the 8th century B.C. but Moses might have lived in the 1600's B.C. and it is likely that Thothmes I could have brought iron-smelting from Asia...but I digress...)
v 21-22 seems to be Moses revisiting AGAIN his frustration (maybe even anger) at the Israelites over him not being allowed into the promise land. Having thought through this before I will continue on.)
V 23 - a reiteration of warning.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
A double endeavor
I am hoping to start blogging again more frequently after a 2 month break. One new project is to blog some of my ESL lesson plans and ideas (including pdf's of worksheets I have created, etc.) That will be located at www.eslchristina.blogspot.com
Check in there to see what teaching resources, etc. I have collected or created in/for my recent ESL classes.
Check in there to see what teaching resources, etc. I have collected or created in/for my recent ESL classes.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Deuteronomy 4: 9-14
I am not going to lie, sometimes getting started on these passages of 'remember the law' seems a tedious undertaking, and such is this morning's portion.
In the previous passage Moses has just reminded the Israelites that keeping the law is key to keeping the land, and that through the law nations around them will recognize Israel's unique relationship with God.
V. 9 - "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."
I think it is interesting that remembering 'what their eyes have seen' or their experiences is such a vital part of the command to keep the law. It is important enough that they are supposed to pass it down generation to generation so that those who did not share in the experience have the experience so firmly passed down that it becomes personal to them as well...emotional DNA, built into their government, culture and religion.
It reminds me of the lyrics (themesong, if you will) from the Fantastiks - "try to remember and if you remember, then follow, follow, follow." There is no doubt that remembrance of our human experiences affects how we react to our circumstamces and doubtless Moses (by way of God) knew this truth.
V. 10-13 - Moses then tells them a specific thing to remember - the giving of the Ten Commandments. He reminds them with specifics like the location, and the reason.
Mt. Horeb (Mt. Sinai) was the location where God gave the Israelites the 10 commandments. Moses reminds them what it looked like, sounded like, felt like, and perhaps even smelled like ("blazed with fire to the very heavens, with black clouds and deep darkness...You heard the sound of words but saw no form; there was only a voice.") This was one of the defining moments for the nation of Israel - the giving of the law which would set them apart and mark them as God's chosen people. It was following this law which identified them to the nations around them and throughout the ancient world. God wrote these laws down for them (providing a tangible reminder.)
At this point it seemed pertinent to read the passage where the Law was given : Exodus 19 & 20. I smile a little because while reading the passage Moses seems like the ringmaster at some grand three ring circus production. There was smoke and fire and trumpets and thunder and lightening. This was certainly a spectacle to be remembered. This was not some quiet Sunday morning gathering to be shuffled into the back of collective memory and grouped with a thousand other like experiences. This was a once in a lifetime (ok, once in a world's lifetime) event and it was going to be remembered! (Except that often it wasn't because humans are resillient forgetters.)
Which causes me to ponder how absolutely God has intervened in my life and how those moments have changed me and yet how easily I forget them when trouble comes.
V 14 - Then Moses reminds them that God instructed Moses to teach them the laws "you are to follow in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess." The giving of the Law was always focused on the possession of the Land and the fulfillment of the promise. Lately (the past two decades or so) it seems there has been a large focus on the Bible as narrative (a cohesive story that reads from beginning to end with God's overarching theme of redemption always as the lead story.) Passages like this remind me that God never forgets the subplots; never forgets the smaller promises and prepared Israel thoroughly not just for the day when the coming Messiah would return, but for every other step along the way: the law -> the land -> the Love.
TWO sidenotes that struck me deeply while reading through this passage. First, a reference to my discussion of the first verses from my Torah Portion where God again denies Moses entry to the land. In re-reading the events leading up to the giving of the Ten Commandments I found the passage where Moses DOES strike the rock at God's command (which seems to be different from the Numbers 20 passage.) Exodus 17: 1-7 which I have to admit does seem more God focused than Moses focused. So, there is more to ponder there - since the concept of God denying Moses what appeared to be a desire of Moses' heart does cause me to want more understanding than I currently have. (And, I might have to accept that not entering the land was part of Moses' story and not mine, so I might not get all the answers, though it seems that Biblical characters are there for our instruction and therefore perhaps we are to consider their portions and our portions with some comparison??? I dunno....)
The second sidenote was a 'you've got to be kidding me' moment. These occur regularly as I start to study more about Jewish commentaries and the New Testament. In looking up the Mt. Sinai situation (the multiple names for the same place, location disputes, etc.) I found an odd reference to a Jewish commentary about the mountain on Wikipedia. This phrase stuck out to me: "In Classical rabbinical literature, Mount Sinai became synonymous with holiness; indeed, it was said that when the Messiah arrives, God will bring Sinai together with Mount Carmel and Mount Tabor, rebuild the Temple upon the combined mountain, and the peaks would sing a chorus of praise to God." Little bells started going off in my head. Mt. Sinai - the mountain of the Law where Moses had gone to meet God. Mt. Carmel - where God again appears as fire to decimate the bull, the rocks and even the water in the ditch where Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to a 'greatness of the gods' contest. And Mount Tabor - any guesses? Well, first and less significant: "In the days of Second Temple, Mount Tabor was one of the mountain peaks on which it was the customed to light beacons in order to inform the northern villages of holidays and of beginnings of new months." (According to Wikipedia.) But here is what you are going to find most significant. This is the mountain where God appeared as a cloud and again spoke to what we might consider a remnant of Israel regarding His plan for their salvation.
Here is where I made another important discovery - contrary to popular opinion, not everything is yet on the internet! Search as I may I could never find the Yalkut Shimoni in English. (There was one site that seemed to offer it for 29.95 but I am not sure in what language.) Here it is in Hebrew; make of it what you will. I need 391 which is the reference for the aforementioned commentary of the three mountains. The Yalkut appears to be a compilation of commentary from previous Hebrew scholars. I want to know if this prophecy or commentary originally predates Christ and whether it would have been common knowledge among scribes and Jewish scholars in the first century. (As it appears the prophecy was in fact fulfilled. Comments, anyone?)
Ok. Enough exploration for now. More to follow certainly! Grace and Peace.
In the previous passage Moses has just reminded the Israelites that keeping the law is key to keeping the land, and that through the law nations around them will recognize Israel's unique relationship with God.
V. 9 - "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."
I think it is interesting that remembering 'what their eyes have seen' or their experiences is such a vital part of the command to keep the law. It is important enough that they are supposed to pass it down generation to generation so that those who did not share in the experience have the experience so firmly passed down that it becomes personal to them as well...emotional DNA, built into their government, culture and religion.
It reminds me of the lyrics (themesong, if you will) from the Fantastiks - "try to remember and if you remember, then follow, follow, follow." There is no doubt that remembrance of our human experiences affects how we react to our circumstamces and doubtless Moses (by way of God) knew this truth.
V. 10-13 - Moses then tells them a specific thing to remember - the giving of the Ten Commandments. He reminds them with specifics like the location, and the reason.
Mt. Horeb (Mt. Sinai) was the location where God gave the Israelites the 10 commandments. Moses reminds them what it looked like, sounded like, felt like, and perhaps even smelled like ("blazed with fire to the very heavens, with black clouds and deep darkness...You heard the sound of words but saw no form; there was only a voice.") This was one of the defining moments for the nation of Israel - the giving of the law which would set them apart and mark them as God's chosen people. It was following this law which identified them to the nations around them and throughout the ancient world. God wrote these laws down for them (providing a tangible reminder.)
At this point it seemed pertinent to read the passage where the Law was given : Exodus 19 & 20. I smile a little because while reading the passage Moses seems like the ringmaster at some grand three ring circus production. There was smoke and fire and trumpets and thunder and lightening. This was certainly a spectacle to be remembered. This was not some quiet Sunday morning gathering to be shuffled into the back of collective memory and grouped with a thousand other like experiences. This was a once in a lifetime (ok, once in a world's lifetime) event and it was going to be remembered! (Except that often it wasn't because humans are resillient forgetters.)
Which causes me to ponder how absolutely God has intervened in my life and how those moments have changed me and yet how easily I forget them when trouble comes.
V 14 - Then Moses reminds them that God instructed Moses to teach them the laws "you are to follow in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess." The giving of the Law was always focused on the possession of the Land and the fulfillment of the promise. Lately (the past two decades or so) it seems there has been a large focus on the Bible as narrative (a cohesive story that reads from beginning to end with God's overarching theme of redemption always as the lead story.) Passages like this remind me that God never forgets the subplots; never forgets the smaller promises and prepared Israel thoroughly not just for the day when the coming Messiah would return, but for every other step along the way: the law -> the land -> the Love.
TWO sidenotes that struck me deeply while reading through this passage. First, a reference to my discussion of the first verses from my Torah Portion where God again denies Moses entry to the land. In re-reading the events leading up to the giving of the Ten Commandments I found the passage where Moses DOES strike the rock at God's command (which seems to be different from the Numbers 20 passage.) Exodus 17: 1-7 which I have to admit does seem more God focused than Moses focused. So, there is more to ponder there - since the concept of God denying Moses what appeared to be a desire of Moses' heart does cause me to want more understanding than I currently have. (And, I might have to accept that not entering the land was part of Moses' story and not mine, so I might not get all the answers, though it seems that Biblical characters are there for our instruction and therefore perhaps we are to consider their portions and our portions with some comparison??? I dunno....)
The second sidenote was a 'you've got to be kidding me' moment. These occur regularly as I start to study more about Jewish commentaries and the New Testament. In looking up the Mt. Sinai situation (the multiple names for the same place, location disputes, etc.) I found an odd reference to a Jewish commentary about the mountain on Wikipedia. This phrase stuck out to me: "In Classical rabbinical literature, Mount Sinai became synonymous with holiness; indeed, it was said that when the Messiah arrives, God will bring Sinai together with Mount Carmel and Mount Tabor, rebuild the Temple upon the combined mountain, and the peaks would sing a chorus of praise to God." Little bells started going off in my head. Mt. Sinai - the mountain of the Law where Moses had gone to meet God. Mt. Carmel - where God again appears as fire to decimate the bull, the rocks and even the water in the ditch where Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to a 'greatness of the gods' contest. And Mount Tabor - any guesses? Well, first and less significant: "In the days of Second Temple, Mount Tabor was one of the mountain peaks on which it was the customed to light beacons in order to inform the northern villages of holidays and of beginnings of new months." (According to Wikipedia.) But here is what you are going to find most significant. This is the mountain where God appeared as a cloud and again spoke to what we might consider a remnant of Israel regarding His plan for their salvation.
Here is where I made another important discovery - contrary to popular opinion, not everything is yet on the internet! Search as I may I could never find the Yalkut Shimoni in English. (There was one site that seemed to offer it for 29.95 but I am not sure in what language.) Here it is in Hebrew; make of it what you will. I need 391 which is the reference for the aforementioned commentary of the three mountains. The Yalkut appears to be a compilation of commentary from previous Hebrew scholars. I want to know if this prophecy or commentary originally predates Christ and whether it would have been common knowledge among scribes and Jewish scholars in the first century. (As it appears the prophecy was in fact fulfilled. Comments, anyone?)
Ok. Enough exploration for now. More to follow certainly! Grace and Peace.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Deut. 4:1-8
It seems curious and yet appropriate that following the passage where Moses was forbidden to enter the land (again) and God told him to stop asking, that Moses instructs the Israelites in obedience.
1 - following the commands seems to be a condition upon which Israel will take possession of the land.
2 - Moses warns against adding or subtracting to the law
Matthew Henry's commentary has this to say about v. 2:
This instruction is repeated through out scripture in several places:
Deuteronomy 12:32
"See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it."
Ecclesiastes 3:14
"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."
Galatians 3:15
"Brothers, let me take an example from everyday life. Just as no one can set aside or add to a human covenant that has been duly established, so it is in this case."
What God has given us is perfect and holy. Perhaps if I can finally get to the point that I believe that all instruction necessary for righteousness has already been given me and that I cannot add to or take away from my inheritance in both the Law and the fulfillment of the Law, I would learn to live a life not constantly plagued with self doubt. Ultimately, as Paul mentions in the Galatians passage, the totality of the covenant is contained in the promise given to Abraham and its fulfillment in Christ.
3,4 - Reminds the Israelites about the consquences of turning to idols and the rewards of remaining faithful. (Numbers 25:1-9)
There entire remained of the old testament seems a proof text for this verse.
5 - Moses taught the Israelites God's law so they would know His law when they entered the land.
It seems that an assumption could be made the this passage implies that if the Israelites could not learn the Law while wandering in the desert with food and water supplied for them, then they certainly wouldn't get it through their skulls once the reached the point of fighting for and maintaining their land. What if they hadn't wasted their time in the desert? Personal life application....proably!
6 - By keeping the Law the Israelites would show to the other nations how wise and understanding they are.
This I find interesting...in the Old Testament it was through obedience to the Law that Israel would glorify their God and draw the attention of the Nations. In the New Testament the Law has been replaced by Love as the medium through which a lost world will find redemption.
7 - Moses reminds the Israelites how special they are to have a God who is near to them whenever they pray unlike any other nation.
8 - And that the laws and decrees show the greatness of the Israeli nation.
Not their land, not their amazing victories, not their wealth or fame but their law.
It amazes me that no matter what area of scripture I dive into, or how opaque the text is at first reading, it is always so rich upon contemplation and study, and I know I have just scratched the surface of the knowledge and revelation it contains for me.
So today's lyrics are from Hillsong:
From the Inside Out
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
1 - following the commands seems to be a condition upon which Israel will take possession of the land.
2 - Moses warns against adding or subtracting to the law
Matthew Henry's commentary has this to say about v. 2:
He charges them to preserve the divine law pure and entire among them, v. 2. Keep it pure, and do not add to it; keep it entire, and do not diminish from it. Not in practice, so some: "You shall not add by committing the evil which the law forbids, nor diminish by omitting the good which the law requires." Not in opinion, so others: "You shall not add your own inventions, as if the divine institutions were defective, nor introduce, much less impose, any rites of religious worship other than what God has appointed; nor shall you diminish, or set aside, any thing that is appointed, as needless or superfluous." God's work is perfect, nothing can be put to it, nor taken from it, without making it the worse. See Eccl. 3:14. The Jews understand it as prohibiting the alteration of the text or letter of the law, even in the least jot or tittle; and to their great care and exactness herein we are very much indebted, under God, for the purity and integrity of the Hebrew code. We find a fence like this made about the New Testament in the close of it, Rev. 22:18, 19.
This instruction is repeated through out scripture in several places:
Deuteronomy 12:32
"See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it."
Ecclesiastes 3:14
"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."
Galatians 3:15
"Brothers, let me take an example from everyday life. Just as no one can set aside or add to a human covenant that has been duly established, so it is in this case."
What God has given us is perfect and holy. Perhaps if I can finally get to the point that I believe that all instruction necessary for righteousness has already been given me and that I cannot add to or take away from my inheritance in both the Law and the fulfillment of the Law, I would learn to live a life not constantly plagued with self doubt. Ultimately, as Paul mentions in the Galatians passage, the totality of the covenant is contained in the promise given to Abraham and its fulfillment in Christ.
3,4 - Reminds the Israelites about the consquences of turning to idols and the rewards of remaining faithful. (Numbers 25:1-9)
There entire remained of the old testament seems a proof text for this verse.
5 - Moses taught the Israelites God's law so they would know His law when they entered the land.
It seems that an assumption could be made the this passage implies that if the Israelites could not learn the Law while wandering in the desert with food and water supplied for them, then they certainly wouldn't get it through their skulls once the reached the point of fighting for and maintaining their land. What if they hadn't wasted their time in the desert? Personal life application....proably!
6 - By keeping the Law the Israelites would show to the other nations how wise and understanding they are.
This I find interesting...in the Old Testament it was through obedience to the Law that Israel would glorify their God and draw the attention of the Nations. In the New Testament the Law has been replaced by Love as the medium through which a lost world will find redemption.
7 - Moses reminds the Israelites how special they are to have a God who is near to them whenever they pray unlike any other nation.
8 - And that the laws and decrees show the greatness of the Israeli nation.
Not their land, not their amazing victories, not their wealth or fame but their law.
It amazes me that no matter what area of scripture I dive into, or how opaque the text is at first reading, it is always so rich upon contemplation and study, and I know I have just scratched the surface of the knowledge and revelation it contains for me.
So today's lyrics are from Hillsong:
From the Inside Out
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
Monday, June 30, 2008
His portion
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...
Cause He loves us,
Oh how He loves us.
Oh how He loves us.
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.*
-- John Mark MacMillan
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...
Cause He loves us,
Oh how He loves us.
Oh how He loves us.
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.*
-- John Mark MacMillan
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