It cannot be by mistake that Paul wrote the passage about the necessity of love in the middle of his explanation of spiritual gifts and their place in the body. I like the way that my NIV has the chapters sub-divided in 1 Corinthians; the passage on love starts with 1 Cor. 12:31b, "And now I will show you the most excellent way." It is a good reminder that the passage on love comes imbedded in a passage about the unity of the body of Christ and the importance of the variety of spiritual gifts. In the NASB 1 Corinthians 12:31 reads, "But earestly desire the greater gifts. And I show you still a more excellent way." The NLT says 'So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts. But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all."
There must be a reason that Paul sandwiched this passage about love into a larger conversation about diversity in the body of Christ and the necessity for the variety of gifts. He had just finished explaining that different gifts and roles in the church are like different parts of our physical bodies - all interconnected and necessary with those parts that look less exciting really deserving the greater praise. Paul seems to be appealing to the church in Corinth not to try to judge value or significance based upon the roles served in the church, and that regardless of the impressiveness or sacrifice of the gift, that without the perfection of love the sum total is nothing. Any gift plus love equals righteousness but any gift, no matter how great, without love is nothing.
When we start talking about love it is easy to be shallow, as ironic as that sounds. Sometimes I think it reads like a list and if we don't boast and we are appropriately compassionate when we see others hurting, then somehow we have passed the 'love' test. Obviously love is not a list of does and don'ts. I don't think that the list that Paul gives is exhaustive. I think he was trying to show that love is all encompassing and completely empty of man's sinful nature. Love is perfect. Anywhere that perfection exists, love is there. Love has no sin.
A call to live a life of love is nothing less than a call to live a life of perfection. But specifically Paul seems to speak of this most important quality in the companionship of the spiritual gifts. Some spiritual gifts seems to 'channel' love more easily. A gift of healing, for example, might seem to be imbedded with love - unseparable. But then I think of one of the most popular T.V. shows on television today about an irrascible doctor who seems concerned with everything but loving his patients, his staff members, his family. Other gifts seem to be more disposed to devalue the importance of love - gifts of discernment or wisdom or prophecy without love are fruitless. Perhaps that is why Paul gives the examples that he does,
Though I speak with the tongue of men and of angels and have not love then I am just making noise. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and understand mysteries and have inconceivable faith but I have no love then I am nothing. And if I give everything I have, every act of selflessness even to the point of death, but have no love I have gained nothing." The church at Corinth was arguing over spiritual gifts and it was like Paul was saying to them, "Stop, your arguing is pointless because you are all part of the body, and besides who cares if you are amazingly generous or think you have tremendous insight to the scriptures, if you are behaving unlovingly toward each other then your gifts are all wasted and don't matter at all!!!"
Furthermore, I would suggest that Paul is specifically speaking to the church in Corinth about how they were treating each other. It would hardly seem to matter to non-believers what spiritual gifts a member of the body of Christ claimed as their own. Those issues only matter inside the body. I can imagine Paul's letter being read and the addressees listening to his list about love and thinking of exactly the specific instances in which they were not acting lovingly toward each other. "Love is patient" (so we shouldn't fuss at each other when we don't 'get' some truth immediately?) love is kind (not vindictive), it doesn't envy (or covet another's gift), it is not proud (assuming my gift is greater than another's), it is not self-seeking (looking to have my accomplishments recognized), it keeps no record of wrongs (you mean, everytime someone else fails I am not supposed to hold it against them or justify my own poor behavior by theirs?) - instead love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and never runs out.
Sometimes in Christian communities we seem to be concerned about living the Christian life for the approval of others. Maybe it is a martyr complex or a desire to be found blameless in the eyes of a superior or a friend. Maybe a need for self-remonstration; an assuaging of guilt. But these all all inwardly focused and concerned with the effect of the action, not with the betterment of the object of the 'love' itself. In this line of reasoning I would separate 'acts of kindness' from true love. As mentioned before, there are things that we know we should do and so we do them - to satisfy the should; not because we are genuinely concerned with what is best for the object of the act. I think this is a very dangerous bandage because it looks so much like the real thing - like bandaids that are the color of skin so they are less noticeable to others. My acts of kindness can cover over the broken-ness in my soul and maybe then, from teh outside others cannot see how damaged I am inside. I am not in any way implying that acts of kindness are 'wrong' or that God cannot use them to genuinely benefit the receiver, but that according to Paul even if we were to give away everything we owned - including our bodies but did it outside of love then the result for us is empty and meaningless. I think these acts of kindness bottom out or souls. They cheapen our intentions and make worthless all our efforts and eventually we become discouraged and bitter that all the acts we have so 'sacrificially' done are leaving us unfulfilled and unsatisfied. We are unsatisfied because without love they profit us nothing.
I am in no way implying that all this soul searching guarantees immediate results - far from it. Our sinful flesh is by very nature self-seeking. And I think that even trying to be 'loving' can become an 'act of kindess'. (Again, I am not negating the ability God has to use these acts, but simply stating that we don't find genuine lasting satisfaction in such acts.) In really considering and praying over 1 Cor. 13 and what it needs to mean to my life, I am not even praying that God will make me loving as though I will lay aside 31 years of selfishness in one grand gesture and be pure in motive ever after. What I am praying this week, this month, this semester is that God will teach me to see my actions and motives for what they really are and to consider with heart-breaking honesty whether I am weilding my spiritual gift pointlessly for lack of love and whether the moments that i label 'love' are in fact genuinely concerned with the best for someone besides myself. When I hug that problem student in the morning am I really open for God to call me further into service to someone that grates on me? When I correct a student am I genuinely concerned for their well-being and maturity or am I trying to produce the end result of control? It shreds my gut to think of the number of times I have carried out the right action for the wrong reason (and of course the number of times I have committed the WRONG action for lack of thought!)
Anyway, I am still thinking through all of this. It is baffling, this concept of love. And, as my mother pointed out - you cannot imagine what all-forgiving love is until you have experienced it, and sometimes that experience does not preceed our call to perfection - and love is perfect. I don't know if I am getting any better at it. I can only pray that in seeking love I will find it. I think it is what God wants for me.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The trip on the way to Cabarete (Part 2 of the beach backwards)
The day before we went surfing we drove from Jarabacoa thru Moca to Cabarete. The drive is amazing. Moca itself is not that exciting - just a typical horrible traffic, chaotic Dominican city, but the drive up the mountains out of the valley on the way to the North coast is gorgeous. Santiago, La Vega & Moca lie in a valley between two huge mountain ridges. Jarabacoa is in the southern of these two. The beaches (Cabarete, Sosua, Puerto Plata, etc.) lie on the other side of the northern mountains. We stop at a little restaurant, El Molino de la Cumbre, to visit the 'facilities' and enjoy the view. Wow, you walk out onto their terrace and it is breathtaking. You can see the whole valley spread out before you. Taking a picture of it is kind of like taking a picture of the Grand Canyon (ok, maybe not quite that grand, but it is still startling.) I could see all the way over to the southern range where Jarabacoa sits nestled in some mountainous nook, but I don't think the pictures do the view justice. Anyway, here are my feeble attempts. (you can click on the images to see a larger version.) 
Monday, January 21, 2008
War Wounds & Pila Monster
Surfing makes me sore.
This is how I feel about doing lesson plans this morning:
This is the cut on my foot - it doesn't look that bad, but here where I am not wearing protective foot wear but crocs and flipflops splashing through the mud I want to make sure it does not get infected.
On a happier note, this is my Pila monster:
This is how I feel about doing lesson plans this morning:
This is the cut on my foot - it doesn't look that bad, but here where I am not wearing protective foot wear but crocs and flipflops splashing through the mud I want to make sure it does not get infected.
On a happier note, this is my Pila monster:
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The beach trip - backwards
Today I tried surfing for the first time.
1st attempt:
It shows my novice status to say, "it is harder than it looks!" No, Really??? I also understand now why almost all female surfers wear two piece suits. I thought my tighter speedo-type suit was a good choice, but unless you have a one piece that comes up to your collar bone it appears not. Everytime you push yourself up the board you end up pushing your swimsuit down. Oops!
Paddling with the board is hard work, as is keeping unshod feet from touching the ocean floor (which is only about 2 feet under your board for most of the trip out.) The greatest difficulty is wave after wave pelting you - and the fact that from perspective of flat on your belly on the board, it is hard to know when you have reached your ever changing destination.
2nd attempt:
This trip out was a little better. Wore my tank top - helpful. The surface was a little calmer but still managed to take in enough salt water to clean the sinuses. First wave I caught I got to my knees -- still haven't managed to stand. By the time I caught the last wave in -- which left me still about 30 feet from shore -- my arms were so tired I wasn't sure if I would be able to paddle in. Laid on the beach and procrastinated for an hour.
3rd attempt: Misty and I rallyed and decided to try one last time before turning in the boards. I paddled out and though the waves were calmer, it actually seemed harder. But this time at least the board felt comfortable under me, and I could position myself faster. Got better at steering it while paddling out, and learned a little better how to work with the waves. There wasn't really anything worth catching...nothing big enough for an inexperienced surfer like me (yes, I just laughed at that phrase) to catch and stand on. So I rode around on my belly for a while. My last trip out a big wave caught my board longways (instead of nose into the wave like one prefers) and rolled me pretty well, and I scratched up my foot on the bottom (and I think it is when I bruised my arm). It was fun, soooo much fun, but man am I tired.
Later we ate dinner on the beach (about a 10 minute drive from where we surfed.) You can see the bruise on the inside of my arm. All in all a wonderful day full of fun and good memories.
1st attempt:
It shows my novice status to say, "it is harder than it looks!" No, Really??? I also understand now why almost all female surfers wear two piece suits. I thought my tighter speedo-type suit was a good choice, but unless you have a one piece that comes up to your collar bone it appears not. Everytime you push yourself up the board you end up pushing your swimsuit down. Oops!
Paddling with the board is hard work, as is keeping unshod feet from touching the ocean floor (which is only about 2 feet under your board for most of the trip out.) The greatest difficulty is wave after wave pelting you - and the fact that from perspective of flat on your belly on the board, it is hard to know when you have reached your ever changing destination.
2nd attempt:
This trip out was a little better. Wore my tank top - helpful. The surface was a little calmer but still managed to take in enough salt water to clean the sinuses. First wave I caught I got to my knees -- still haven't managed to stand. By the time I caught the last wave in -- which left me still about 30 feet from shore -- my arms were so tired I wasn't sure if I would be able to paddle in. Laid on the beach and procrastinated for an hour.
3rd attempt: Misty and I rallyed and decided to try one last time before turning in the boards. I paddled out and though the waves were calmer, it actually seemed harder. But this time at least the board felt comfortable under me, and I could position myself faster. Got better at steering it while paddling out, and learned a little better how to work with the waves. There wasn't really anything worth catching...nothing big enough for an inexperienced surfer like me (yes, I just laughed at that phrase) to catch and stand on. So I rode around on my belly for a while. My last trip out a big wave caught my board longways (instead of nose into the wave like one prefers) and rolled me pretty well, and I scratched up my foot on the bottom (and I think it is when I bruised my arm). It was fun, soooo much fun, but man am I tired.
Later we ate dinner on the beach (about a 10 minute drive from where we surfed.) You can see the bruise on the inside of my arm. All in all a wonderful day full of fun and good memories.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Lauren F. Winner, Semester Exams and learning to deal with an angry heart
Yesterday the director told me that, at least for a time, my normal routine of leaving school when I was finished with my classes will have to change. I had been under the impression that we would have half-days this week because exams are over at noon and we would be free to go home and grade and work on preparing for report cards. For multiple reasons it is easier for me to work from our house which is less than 3 minutes away (walking) from school than it is to work at school, so this news has me frustrated. Additionally, I thought we received the half days as some sort of compensation for the hellish less-than-2-weeks we received to prepare all the semester-end study guides and exams. (Kind of a pay-me-now and benefit later arrangement.) Nyet! *cracks whip* We are required to be on campus and complete the full school days even though we don't have classes (and because highschool teachers rotate we don't really have classrooms either.)
So, here I sit in the 8th grade classroom. The table in the teacher's lounge is full, and besides, the office is a poor environment to get anything accomplished. One of my 11th graders needed to stay late to complete her test, so I left the classroom about 12.20; heated my lunch in the microwave in the teacher's lounge (I think it is the second time I have used a microwave since I moved here in August) and scurried away to an empty classroom where I could set my laptop on a desk and plug it in (since the battery is basically shot.) After lunch I will get back to grading.
I have started reading Lauren F. Winner's book, "girl meets GOD" and already I feel she is a kindred spirit. I suppose many people have that experience with writers - most of my friends stateside would consider themselves kindred with Donald Miller. In this first chapter, Winner is talking about her experience at a Messianic Jewish Synagogue and how she feels that the service is evangelical parading as Jewish. ("Add Hebrew & stir," she says.) Describing her reaction in the service she writes:
Occassionally I offer up a silent prayer that the Holy Spirit will work overtime on my heart and help me stop being judgemental long enough to recognize that these people are worshipping the Risen Lord, but I don't really want God to answer this prayer.
Bless her, I understand. It is easy to offer before the Lord the requests that we know we should make and hard to actually mean what we are asking for. I wonder if James 1:6 answers this dilema a little...the whole 'no doubting' idea has always baffled me. Of course we doubt, and more progressive theologians like to tell us that 'doubting' is normal - as is questioning God, and not something we should be ashamed of. I guess it is the way we respond to our doubts, like anger, that we need to consider? But, James exhorts us to ask for wisdom without doubting,
(5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (7) That man should not receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Preach it, James! I pray often that God will soften my heart, and bring to me wisdom and compassion when dealing with other believers around me. But, deep inside I, like Winner, don't really mean that prayer. Wisdom and enlightenment mean additional responsibility. It strips away our justification and leaves us naked against the prodding of the Holy Spirit. Vulnerability, even (or particularly) before God seems such a risk. And then God's goodness toward us is called into question.
Change might be a constant, but it is also constantly hated. I came back to the DR with all this renewed intention of allowing change to enter my life - to re-invent my attitude and to renew my heart to innocence instead of cynicism. Yet, within a week of being back I am told that the requirements for submission have changed - and not for my ease. Instead of being able to remove myself from those situations that breed discontentment (like my previous resolution to spend as little time hanging out at school after classes, etc. as possible) I am required to endure longer moments of aggrevation and been advised to do so with a cheerful and compliant heart. No, God! I have prayer for wisdom and enlightenment, but phulllleeeeeeaaassseeee don't bring it to me through suffering. Please don't teach me compassion through discomfort and above all please don't require that I love the people who impose upon my good intentions in such a way. I doubt. I am double-minded and tossed about by the wind. In the immortal words of PINK, "I'm my own worst enemy." God save me from myself.
Often life seems harder when God answers my prayers than when He doesn't. And yet I am supposed to request what I know I should. And mean it. Without double minded-ness. Fudge and popsicles! *shakes head*
So, here I sit in the 8th grade classroom. The table in the teacher's lounge is full, and besides, the office is a poor environment to get anything accomplished. One of my 11th graders needed to stay late to complete her test, so I left the classroom about 12.20; heated my lunch in the microwave in the teacher's lounge (I think it is the second time I have used a microwave since I moved here in August) and scurried away to an empty classroom where I could set my laptop on a desk and plug it in (since the battery is basically shot.) After lunch I will get back to grading.
I have started reading Lauren F. Winner's book, "girl meets GOD" and already I feel she is a kindred spirit. I suppose many people have that experience with writers - most of my friends stateside would consider themselves kindred with Donald Miller. In this first chapter, Winner is talking about her experience at a Messianic Jewish Synagogue and how she feels that the service is evangelical parading as Jewish. ("Add Hebrew & stir," she says.) Describing her reaction in the service she writes:
Occassionally I offer up a silent prayer that the Holy Spirit will work overtime on my heart and help me stop being judgemental long enough to recognize that these people are worshipping the Risen Lord, but I don't really want God to answer this prayer.
Bless her, I understand. It is easy to offer before the Lord the requests that we know we should make and hard to actually mean what we are asking for. I wonder if James 1:6 answers this dilema a little...the whole 'no doubting' idea has always baffled me. Of course we doubt, and more progressive theologians like to tell us that 'doubting' is normal - as is questioning God, and not something we should be ashamed of. I guess it is the way we respond to our doubts, like anger, that we need to consider? But, James exhorts us to ask for wisdom without doubting,
(5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (7) That man should not receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Preach it, James! I pray often that God will soften my heart, and bring to me wisdom and compassion when dealing with other believers around me. But, deep inside I, like Winner, don't really mean that prayer. Wisdom and enlightenment mean additional responsibility. It strips away our justification and leaves us naked against the prodding of the Holy Spirit. Vulnerability, even (or particularly) before God seems such a risk. And then God's goodness toward us is called into question.
Change might be a constant, but it is also constantly hated. I came back to the DR with all this renewed intention of allowing change to enter my life - to re-invent my attitude and to renew my heart to innocence instead of cynicism. Yet, within a week of being back I am told that the requirements for submission have changed - and not for my ease. Instead of being able to remove myself from those situations that breed discontentment (like my previous resolution to spend as little time hanging out at school after classes, etc. as possible) I am required to endure longer moments of aggrevation and been advised to do so with a cheerful and compliant heart. No, God! I have prayer for wisdom and enlightenment, but phulllleeeeeeaaassseeee don't bring it to me through suffering. Please don't teach me compassion through discomfort and above all please don't require that I love the people who impose upon my good intentions in such a way. I doubt. I am double-minded and tossed about by the wind. In the immortal words of PINK, "I'm my own worst enemy." God save me from myself.
Often life seems harder when God answers my prayers than when He doesn't. And yet I am supposed to request what I know I should. And mean it. Without double minded-ness. Fudge and popsicles! *shakes head*
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Sundays are the hardest days
Instead of waking me up in a way that will get her in trouble, Pila just bounces on the bed - scratches herself, lays down, gets up, turns a few times, tries to lay down again, licks her paws, etc. for about 45 minutes before I finally can take no more and get up and get her some breakfast. Rachel made pancakes and eggs this morning and they were fantastic. We are both getting quite adept in the kitchen and learning time-saving tricks. I made pancakes yesterday and put the remainder of the batter in the fridge so today she made breakfast in the less than 10 minutes I was outside reading: I just started "The Pursuit of Holiness" by Jerry Bridges. I am going to try to read a chapter a day for the next two weeks. I am not sure I will agree with all of his interpretations, but he does discuss several questions I have about what holiness (as seperateness) entails and the feasiblity of it in our Christian walk.
Rachel just left for church. I am staying in. I need to do laundry (which did not get completed yesterday for various and assundry reasons) and organize some things...but mostly I need to have some quiet time and mourn the fact that I am away from my church home and community for almost 6 months. Sundays are the hardest days because I know that my friends are all together at church, hearing the same messages, sharing lunch and laughs and conversing about the things they are learning in and out of church. Sunday was my favorite day when I was stateside. Here it holds the least encouragement or joy of any day of the week. When I do attend services here I cannot understand the message. The hymns (when they are familiar) are nice, but largely they are not familiar. I don't go to lunch and fellowship with others. Stores here are only open Sunday morning instead of sunday afternoon, so if you do need something you have to go during the protestant church services. All in all Sunday is just my least favorite day.
I was chatting with Steph this morning before church and she asked how she could pray for me today. Truly, there are so many things that I feel I need help with that I don't know where to start, but the number one thing is that I just need to be able to put aside myself and focus on the Father. But, myself seems the most tangible and familiar thing here sometimes, and it is hard to set that comfort (no matter how vain) aside and accept that there is a reason that God has me here and not there. I know it is for my own good. I know that He is faithful - I know that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father who does not change like shifting shadows...I know this, but here, it feels...forgotten.
Soon I will burry myself in work, in grading papers and doing lesson plans. In cooking and housework. Walking. The things I do to keep me from remembering how far I am from home, and all this will start to seem familiar and normal again instead of foreign and unnatural. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday will pass in whirlwinds of Medieval history, WWII and the geography of Africa. I will see friends on Saturdays. Occassionally go to Santiago or to a waterfall or some other distraction. But on Sundays - Sundays I will always remember that my body is somewhere in the Caribbean, but my heart is at home with my community even when they don't remember it is there. And I will sigh whistfully and pray for sundown when my day of rest is over and God doesn't seem so far away and busy other places.
Rachel just left for church. I am staying in. I need to do laundry (which did not get completed yesterday for various and assundry reasons) and organize some things...but mostly I need to have some quiet time and mourn the fact that I am away from my church home and community for almost 6 months. Sundays are the hardest days because I know that my friends are all together at church, hearing the same messages, sharing lunch and laughs and conversing about the things they are learning in and out of church. Sunday was my favorite day when I was stateside. Here it holds the least encouragement or joy of any day of the week. When I do attend services here I cannot understand the message. The hymns (when they are familiar) are nice, but largely they are not familiar. I don't go to lunch and fellowship with others. Stores here are only open Sunday morning instead of sunday afternoon, so if you do need something you have to go during the protestant church services. All in all Sunday is just my least favorite day.
I was chatting with Steph this morning before church and she asked how she could pray for me today. Truly, there are so many things that I feel I need help with that I don't know where to start, but the number one thing is that I just need to be able to put aside myself and focus on the Father. But, myself seems the most tangible and familiar thing here sometimes, and it is hard to set that comfort (no matter how vain) aside and accept that there is a reason that God has me here and not there. I know it is for my own good. I know that He is faithful - I know that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father who does not change like shifting shadows...I know this, but here, it feels...forgotten.
Soon I will burry myself in work, in grading papers and doing lesson plans. In cooking and housework. Walking. The things I do to keep me from remembering how far I am from home, and all this will start to seem familiar and normal again instead of foreign and unnatural. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday will pass in whirlwinds of Medieval history, WWII and the geography of Africa. I will see friends on Saturdays. Occassionally go to Santiago or to a waterfall or some other distraction. But on Sundays - Sundays I will always remember that my body is somewhere in the Caribbean, but my heart is at home with my community even when they don't remember it is there. And I will sigh whistfully and pray for sundown when my day of rest is over and God doesn't seem so far away and busy other places.
Friday, January 11, 2008
I should resolve to post more often...
I should...but "they" say that you should make your new years resolutions attainable.
Well, I am back in Jarabacoa, getting back into the routine of life here. Charlotte seems like a dream right now. It is hard to remember that life is going on there. I had the same difficulty when I returned to Thailand. In my mind it was this perfect & unchanging place. Of course we know that reality is never perfect and change is one of the only constants in life(or so say some philosophers.)When I got back to Thailand after 15 months, things had been built, stores had closed, vendors had moved, etc. Life was the same returning to Charlotte, and yet different. New faces had entered the church crowd (some even 'friended' me on facebook.) Others had left (Brian we miss you!) Acquaintances became friends and some acquaintances became strangers. We had our first Christmas with my nephew (my sister & brother-in-law are in the process of adopting Cody)and I no longer have a place of my own. Buildings have been finished (I cannot tell you how different the corner of Sharon & Providence looks from 5 years ago!) and new stores have opened. People at W242 seem to have 2 kids now instead of 1. It is puzzling, this thing called life. And though the world in this past year has changed more for me than for many, somehow I feel that I am the one changing the least. Yet, on other days I hardly know myself. But, this is for certain, my time home renewed in me a hope that God still works in our lives. Still molds us; still sanctifies and refines us and when I see this refining happening in the lives of my friends and family it makes me raise my arms toward heaven and dance before the Father in awe of His great mercy that we know we do not deserve.
Life here, however, seems largely unchanged (not surprising as I was gone less than 3 weeks.) I did miss my students and am happy to see them. They are a trial but one which I would not trade (at least not most days.) They are busy preparing for semester final exams. Please pray for them - their brains are not back at school yet and they have ALOT to remember. Please pray for the staff at JCS as we too have alot to remember. Getting back into the swing of school has been hard (and good at the same time.) It was very wonderful to walk in and see familiar faces. To know that all that I do during the day is now familiar and expected. There is peace in living someplace so foreign and yet feeling so 'normal'. I think there is some deeper philosophical meaning there, but I am not sure yet what it is.
I took some really horrible video today of my walk to school. It is very bumpy - I get seasickish watching it, but if you are up for the rolling, you are welcome to take with me the walk that I make several times a day between my house and the school.
I miss you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you for ministering to me during my time home. I appreciate the hospitality, the words of encouragement, the intention, the vulnerability and the banter that you shared with me. To those of you who I did not get to see while I was home (whether you are in Virginia, or NY or Texas) I sure miss you too, and Lord willing, I will visit you this summer full of stories and exciting Dominican gifts! My heart is heavy with affection but my spirit is light with hope!
Grace and peace!
Well, I am back in Jarabacoa, getting back into the routine of life here. Charlotte seems like a dream right now. It is hard to remember that life is going on there. I had the same difficulty when I returned to Thailand. In my mind it was this perfect & unchanging place. Of course we know that reality is never perfect and change is one of the only constants in life(or so say some philosophers.)When I got back to Thailand after 15 months, things had been built, stores had closed, vendors had moved, etc. Life was the same returning to Charlotte, and yet different. New faces had entered the church crowd (some even 'friended' me on facebook.) Others had left (Brian we miss you!) Acquaintances became friends and some acquaintances became strangers. We had our first Christmas with my nephew (my sister & brother-in-law are in the process of adopting Cody)and I no longer have a place of my own. Buildings have been finished (I cannot tell you how different the corner of Sharon & Providence looks from 5 years ago!) and new stores have opened. People at W242 seem to have 2 kids now instead of 1. It is puzzling, this thing called life. And though the world in this past year has changed more for me than for many, somehow I feel that I am the one changing the least. Yet, on other days I hardly know myself. But, this is for certain, my time home renewed in me a hope that God still works in our lives. Still molds us; still sanctifies and refines us and when I see this refining happening in the lives of my friends and family it makes me raise my arms toward heaven and dance before the Father in awe of His great mercy that we know we do not deserve.
Life here, however, seems largely unchanged (not surprising as I was gone less than 3 weeks.) I did miss my students and am happy to see them. They are a trial but one which I would not trade (at least not most days.) They are busy preparing for semester final exams. Please pray for them - their brains are not back at school yet and they have ALOT to remember. Please pray for the staff at JCS as we too have alot to remember. Getting back into the swing of school has been hard (and good at the same time.) It was very wonderful to walk in and see familiar faces. To know that all that I do during the day is now familiar and expected. There is peace in living someplace so foreign and yet feeling so 'normal'. I think there is some deeper philosophical meaning there, but I am not sure yet what it is.
I took some really horrible video today of my walk to school. It is very bumpy - I get seasickish watching it, but if you are up for the rolling, you are welcome to take with me the walk that I make several times a day between my house and the school.
I miss you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you for ministering to me during my time home. I appreciate the hospitality, the words of encouragement, the intention, the vulnerability and the banter that you shared with me. To those of you who I did not get to see while I was home (whether you are in Virginia, or NY or Texas) I sure miss you too, and Lord willing, I will visit you this summer full of stories and exciting Dominican gifts! My heart is heavy with affection but my spirit is light with hope!
Grace and peace!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The week before Christmas break
I called my mother complaining that I was worn out and frustrated and that I wasn't even sure that I liked the kids anymore...she offered the sage advice that no teacher likes their students right before Christmas break.
It is true that the weeks leading up to spring break were horrifically stressful. Exams to finish and turn in, things to pack, Christmas shopping to do, the school Christmas program, and I decided to switch rooms with my roommate, but wanted to paint before I did so! Ack!!!
One of the big problems we have in the DR is mold and mildew. My clothes mold just hanging in my closet. It is quite annoying. I decided before I switched rooms that I would bleach and paint the room I was moving into. Here you can see a little bit of what the entire room basically looked like:
And here are a few pics of the process:
The finished result was worth the effort. There are 3 green walls and one blue -- I figure that since I am living on a tropical island I should take the opportunity to paint with colors I probably would not choose in the States -- the blue is quite vibrant but also very cheerful.
The last day of school before break I took some pictures with some of my girls. Here they are -- this is basically the 11th grade class, though we imposed on Monica (my only girl in the 9th grade) to take pics with us!
I gotta say though, it is good to be home!
It is true that the weeks leading up to spring break were horrifically stressful. Exams to finish and turn in, things to pack, Christmas shopping to do, the school Christmas program, and I decided to switch rooms with my roommate, but wanted to paint before I did so! Ack!!!
One of the big problems we have in the DR is mold and mildew. My clothes mold just hanging in my closet. It is quite annoying. I decided before I switched rooms that I would bleach and paint the room I was moving into. Here you can see a little bit of what the entire room basically looked like:
And here are a few pics of the process:
The finished result was worth the effort. There are 3 green walls and one blue -- I figure that since I am living on a tropical island I should take the opportunity to paint with colors I probably would not choose in the States -- the blue is quite vibrant but also very cheerful.
The last day of school before break I took some pictures with some of my girls. Here they are -- this is basically the 11th grade class, though we imposed on Monica (my only girl in the 9th grade) to take pics with us!
I gotta say though, it is good to be home!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A trip to the south
The Friday after thanksgiving we loaded up two cars early in the morning and set off for the south side of the island - destination Lago Enriquillo and other extraordinary sites.
The saltwater lake is the lowest point in the Caribbean, and is the sanctuary for two reptiles that are distinctive to that area. Here is what Wiki has to say.
We had planned to camp at the beach, but that ended up not being such a good option. We visited a cave that had Taino carvings, and the following day we went snorkeling and got to see some pretty amazing things.
Here are a few pictures worth at least a thousand words.
The saltwater lake is the lowest point in the Caribbean, and is the sanctuary for two reptiles that are distinctive to that area. Here is what Wiki has to say.
We had planned to camp at the beach, but that ended up not being such a good option. We visited a cave that had Taino carvings, and the following day we went snorkeling and got to see some pretty amazing things.
Here are a few pictures worth at least a thousand words.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The Thanksgiving Feast
For thanksgiving most of the JCS staff went to the Speciale's (my friend Karen's) house for a HUGE thanksgiving feast. These pictures don't do the fun, chaos, food, laughter, full bellies and sweet fellowship justice, so I might have to post some more later. But here is a taste.
For various and assundry reasons this is the first time that JCS has done an open invitation to staff and families for thanksgiving. It was a blast! It was so nice to get to hang out with the Dominican teachers who I don't normally get to talk to. School can be so rushed and the language barrier really inhibits conversation when you are in a hurry, so having some time to just be goofy and hug on and compliment and smile at and ask about coworkers was such a great blessing to me. There are moments even in the crazy chaos that exists in our lives here where I feel that we do get to touch a piece of heaven. Thanksgiving was my first of these moments in a weekend that was full of them.
For various and assundry reasons this is the first time that JCS has done an open invitation to staff and families for thanksgiving. It was a blast! It was so nice to get to hang out with the Dominican teachers who I don't normally get to talk to. School can be so rushed and the language barrier really inhibits conversation when you are in a hurry, so having some time to just be goofy and hug on and compliment and smile at and ask about coworkers was such a great blessing to me. There are moments even in the crazy chaos that exists in our lives here where I feel that we do get to touch a piece of heaven. Thanksgiving was my first of these moments in a weekend that was full of them.
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